Some recent random thoughts
After reading a friend's interview, I had a lot of feelings. Recently, I also reviewed myself and happened to get sick. Chainfeed hasn't updated, so I've been thinking randomly every day. Looking back at the past two years, from my master's degree to now, supercomputers, entrepreneurship, and screws. In fact, I have always been struggling with ego. The struggle with myself, how to suppress ego, reduce restlessness and delusions. Now I basically won't change because of external factors/other influences. I am who I am. This is the result of my struggle with myself over the past two years. A few days ago, when I was thinking back, I realized that I have gradually become decentralized in this struggle. I am the center. By "I am the center," I mean, not selfish/self-serving or driven by personal interests. It should be more about prioritizing my own personal growth.
Also, many people asked me two questions when I returned to my home country: why I didn't start a business and why I am in the UK.
Regarding starting a business, I don't think it's that I don't want to start one, but many times there are two points that need to be clarified. Whether the timing is right and whether I have the ability to create something new. I won't implement it until I have figured out these two things. I don't really have any ideas, haha, so I want to do some hacking and learn more, squeezing out my own ideas.
As for the UK, I have lived here for 10 years, especially after this business trip, I really miss my sofa (currently, I sleep on the sofa, after all, it's my choice as the landlord) and the UK naturally stimulates my instincts. Now it seems that being a workaholic has become an instinct for me. Returning to London, I naturally wake up at 6:30, go to the gym, and have a cup of coffee at 8:45. I finish most of the copywriting and planning work before noon. In the evening, after 8 o'clock, I write code or research reports until 12:30 or 1 o'clock. I'm back in rhythm, driven by instinct, and my will drives my body. It's great.
Anyway, no one knows me. September was magical. I met someone I had a deep crush on. It's hard to describe, but my first impression of her was deeply ingrained (online). I really fell for her. Later, because I couldn't go back to my home country, I gradually forgot about her. The two days I spent with her, I was very happy. Although we only drank and chatted, it felt very comfortable, like basking in the spring breeze. I still remember the scent of her when we hugged before I left. In the long hours of work and overtime, I often can't relax, but I can relax immensely when I'm with her. That's when I realized that I might really need to be in a relationship, to have physical touch. I really need hugs. But I'm too impulsive, lol. I'm hopeless. I will go back in December and leave it to fate.
And then I met another girl, haha, that's the next realization.